Writer: Craig Boldman
Pencils: Jeff Shultz
Inking: Jim Amash
Original Publication: Betty and Veronica, No. 255
Cover Date: October, 2011
On-Sale Date: August 24, 2011
Length: 6 pages
While showing Betty some sad dude in a studio, Veronica exposits: The sad dude is Marconelli, a young artist that her dad has taken under his wing. He’s “the greatest sculptor since Michelangelo”. Mr. Lodge pays for this studio, where Marconelli creates “masterpiece after masterpiece”. Betty asks why she’s never heard of him (because that’s what teens are up on these days: sculptors).
Veronica’s quiet about it as Mr. Lodge and the girls follow Marconelli (as if in a funeral procession) to another room to witness the completion of Marconelli’s latest sculpture. Veronica is amazed by…a rip-off of Myron’s Discobolus. Unfortunately, a tap to make “one final detail” to the base collapses the entire statue, which is complete bullshit. The writer would have us believe this happens every single time, due to Marconelli being nervous about “that final tap” and doing it “exactly wrong”.
Mr. Lodge says he can’t remain patient forever. Marconelli is aware. He says his “greatest masterpiece” is nearly done, but he’s been afraid to touch it. Veronica suggests stopping short of “that one last tap” (never mind that there really is no way to judge when and where a “last tap” would occur). However, Marconelli vehemently declares he would “never!” leave his work “unfinished”. Betty suggests having somebody else do “that last tap” for him. Marconelli freaks out and then flips his shit about tainting purity and sullying integrity and shit.
The girls think he’s too wound up and full of anxiety. Veronica decides they need to provide a diversion and make him loosen up. Mr. Lodge asks how. Betty sweeps Marconelli off his feet and kisses him full on the lips. Then Veronica kisses him immediately afterward.
Marconelli goes to finish his masterpiece, a statue of Poseidon/Neptune. Everyone’s amazed. Mr. Lodge doesn’t know how to thank the girls. Then Marconelli gets “carried away” and chisels Betty and Veronica’s heads and some hearts on the sea god’s chest. No one knows what to make of it.
This story is stupid. The entire premise makes no sense.
Tune in next Wednesday!
It takes time and effort to write these reviews, and I do it in my spare time. If you wish to donate, it will be appreciated.