I’m sorry that this is late. It takes a lot longer to upload pictures than I realized (I should know better by now), and I had to go to bed early last night due to my work schedule. Mea culpa.
Writer: Cross Eyed Bear Comedy (Andrew de Villiers)
Director: Andrew de Villiers
Upload Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011
No, this is not a review of the “Riverdale” series premiere trailer that dropped on Monday. I’ll be saving the “Riverdale” discussion for when the series is about to start.
This week, I’m taking a look at a fan-made trailer for a non-existent Archie theatrical film called “Riverdale”. It was made by a Canadian group called Point Blank Creative and won the Canadian Comedy Award for best Web clip. The trailer is available on YouTube to watch for free.
According to the description:
“Riverdale is a fan-trailer responding to the common trend of ‘gritty’ remakes of popular franchises. An article about the production of Riverdale will be available on fanfilmsblog.com shortly. If there are still any doubts as to the legitimacy of this trailer, be assured that this is a not-for-profit project produced purely for fun.
Riverdale was produced with the help of almost 100 Craigslist volunteers from the Vancouver film industry. We produced this and the 10 other comedic videos on a budget of $3, 500 over a weekend. This production also united the executive producer’s wife with her long lost friend/boyfriend when she recognized him playing the character of Moose.”
Here is the cast:
Anthony Konechny – Archie Andrews
Kurtis Maguire – Jughead Jones
Andrew Lefevre – Dilton Doiley
Bill Marles – Coach
Courtney Hojenski – Betty Cooper
Denton Winn – Mr. Lodge
Derek Bedry – Reggie Mantle (credited on YouTube as Reginal [sic] Mantle III)
Emily Rowed – Cheryl Blossom
Ferrone Gavriel – Nancy Woods
Jason Logan – Mr. Weatherbee
Kelly Fennig – Marmaduke “Moose” Mason
Kwaku Adu-Poku – Charles Clayton (Chuck)
Laryssa Troniak – “Big” Ethel Muggs
Morgan Davies – Veronica Lodge
Stephanie Dyck – Midge Klump
Considering the upcoming “Riverdale” TV series will be a dark and dramatic take on the characters, I thought it would be fun to take a look at this trailer that poked fun at the concept but ended up being oddly prophetic. Let’s get into it.
It starts with a bit of false advertising.
Then it reveals the truth.
The trailer itself starts off with a shot of Riverdale High and shots of students as Mr. Weatherbee talks about the challenges facing today’s students.
Apparently, Riverdale’s team is the known as the Trojans here.
Cheryl and Nancy do a cheer.
Mr. Weatherbee is monitoring biology class for whatever reason.
There’s some good, old-fashioned, early-2010s drunken partying.
It turns out that Mr. Weatherbee is giving a speech.
Archie arrives at…
Suuure, I’ll buy that.
Anyway, someone gets Archie’s attention.
The whole gang is together again.
Veronica missed Archie last night.
Archie awkwardly says he couldn’t make it.
Neither could Veronica. Ooh, burn!
Betty observes this.
In the girls’ restroom, Midge tells Betty that, if she wants to get Archie, she’s gonna have to go all the way.
Jughead overhears gossip about how he’s been “acting weird”.
As Betty walks away from Veronica, Veronica tells her that Archie is too good for her.
Reggie advises “Chowderhead” to not waste his time with a girl that won’t put out.
Archie catches Veronica with Reggie at the party.
Reggie confronts Archie, telling him to make up his mind between Veronica and Betty before he makes it up for him.
In the library, Jughead suggests he and Archie go to the party together. When Archie looks at him funny, Jughead hastily adds “as a joke”.
This doesn’t go over well.
Moose is upset, blaming himself for Riverdale’s loss to Central.
The coach (Coach Kleats?) gives Moose “a little help”.
Reggie does coke while giving himself a pep talk in his car.
Moose catches Midge with Chuck at the party, and his ‘roid-filled body can’t handle it.
Reggie lets…the locker have it and then…walks away. Ooh, tough guy!
Reggie brushes past “Poindexter”, causing him to drop his stuff.
Dilton shyly approaches Veronica, who’s with Cheryl, Nancy, Ethel, and Midge, in the library and asks her if she has a date to the party.
Outside the school, Dilton makes a threat.
A furious Moose demands to know what Midge was doing with Chuck.
Betty, in spiritual turmoil, disregards a command from her father and rejects Jesus Christ.
Jughead comes out to Ethel about his hard-on for Archie.
Betty prepares to fuck Archie.
Archie demands to know what’s going on with Jughead.
Betty learns she’s pregnant.
Mr. Lodge blames the “spoiled brat” for her mother leaving.
A doctor declares someone (Reggie? Moose?) is going into cardiac arrest.
Archie and Betty argue over the baby, and a furious Archie knocks over a photo of the happy couple.
Veronica admits she was just using Reggie to make Archie jealous.
A furious Reggie decides to “use” (rape) Veronica.
Betty decides to have an abortion…
…seemingly the back-alley kind. Yikes. Just drink a bunch of booze, girl.
Mr. Weatherbee, still in biology class for whatever reason, adamantly insists someone is “a good boy”.
Dilton prepares to go all Columbine on Riverdale High.
Veronica meets up with Archie at someone’s grave for a little somethin’-somethin’.
Betty sees them.
Jughead kisses Archie.
It doesn’t go well.
Oh, come on, that didn’t even connect.
Archie intensely drives somewhere.
Alone, a distraught Jughead declares his love for Archie while comforting himself with food.
Moose beats someone (Reggie?) up.
Dilton arrives at the party, ready to
rock and roll lock and load.
Two people run through an alley.
Mr. Lodge channels the Godfather and promises someone that Archie Andrews will be dead by dawn.
Betty breaks down in tears in the cemetery.
Notice there’s some visible black at the bottom of the frame in this shot.
Jughead runs through the school.
Moose is gripped by ‘roid rage.
Midge and Chuck share a laugh.
Moose looks like he’s ready to Hulk out.
Looks like Moose beat Reggie up.
It figures the black guy’s sole line is “That’s what I’m talkin’ about.”
Moose goes to prison for something.
Ethel cries in the library.
Dilton is angry.
A devastated Jughead carries Hot Dog’s bloody corpse.
Cheryl and Nancy watch as Dilton shoots someone.
It turns out that the speech that Mr. Weatherbee is giving is at an orientation. He welcomes the students to Riverdale High.
Archie arrives and sees something.
Holy shit, Riverdale High School is on fire!
Jughead cries out for Archie.
So this was a very well done fake trailer! The people that made it are clearly fans of the comics and know the characters. The characters look and, for the most part, act like the comic characters. Everything is amped up, though. The actors are great. I particularly love Courtney Hojenski as Betty. The use of overly dramatic music, the repeated fades to black, and the unnecessary 3D all help to make this what it’s meant to be: a spoof of an overly dramatic theatrical take on Archie Comics. Bravo!
Tune in next Wednesday!
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